Kakuhidan
by chihiro-okami
Summary: One morning Hidan and Kakuzu wake up from a night of parting in bed naked together! Will they be able to go on as if nothing has hapend, or will their relationship become more?
1. prologue

Kakuzu grunted as he sat up burying his face in his hands. "Ugh my head hurt."

"Mine to." Hidan mumbled as he sat up beside Kakuzu one hand holding the blanket up to his chest the other rubbing his temples.

They both froze. They slowly turned their heads to look at each other. There was complete silence for what seemed like eternity. Then they both screamed."WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED! "YOUR BED!"

"THIS IS MYYYY BED! THAT'S YOUR BED!" kakuzu yelled as he pointed at the other bed across the room.

"NUHU! THAT'S YOUR BED! NOW WHY ARE YOU IN MYY FUCKING BED AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NAKED!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME THIS IS MYY BED AND WHY ARE YOU NAKED!"

WHAM! The bed room door was thrown open making the zombie twins scream. Deidara was standing in the doorway pissed off. Sassari Dana had yelled at the blonde earlier that morning for "accidentally" blowing up one of his puppets. "Leader wants to see you guys now, un!" Deidara snapped before slamming the door closed.

Kakuzu and Hidan sighed in relief. Unfortunately the door was slammed open again, and the zombie twins screamed again. A certain blond stood in the doorway.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS…Have a TV! Me and sasori dana don't have a TV in our room! That's sooo UNFAIR, Un!" the pissed blonde slammed the door closed and stormed away leaving Hidan and Kakuzu in an awkward silence.

Hidan and Kakuzu quickly got out of the bed on opposite sides. Kakuzu pulled the sheet off the bed holding it around his waist like a towel. Hidan pulled the blanket off the bed holding it against his chest, so it covered his hole body from his chest to toe.

Kakuzu wondered why the hell Hidan was covering his whole body. He never seemed to care about being seen naked before. Why would he suddenly start to care now?

"Sooo…what did we….d-do last night e-exactly?" Hidan stuttered.

"…I-I don't remember….anything that happened yesterday…"

"D-did we-"

"NO!" Kakuzu said much louder then he anticipated cutting Hidan off. "We just got drunk and past out in the same bed…naked….that's all." he let out a nervous laugh

"Ya, that's what happened. There's NO way in hell we'd do that…We fucking hate each other!"

They both got dressed and started to walk the Pain-sama's office. Both trying to forget what had happened that morning telling themselves that nothing, NOTHING had happened. But they both knew that was a lie. Something HAD happened, but what?


	2. Chapter 1

The hole Akatsuki was shoved into Pain's small office wondering why their so called leader had demanded that they have a meeting so early in the morning. Everyone except Hidan and Kakuzu who were to busy trying to remember the night before and hoping to find the reason to why they had woken up naked together.

"I bet your all wondering why I've called you all here this morning?" Pain questioned as he walked back and forth in front of them.

"No."

"The answer is simple, but first tell me the rules of the base?" Pain said ignoring his minions rude answer.

"No blowing things up, un!"

"No sacrifices to Jashin-sama in the house. I don't fucking know why though!"

"No turning off the heat in the winter even though it saves us money!"

"Don't eat anyone living here."

"Listen to leader like a good boy!"

"Hn."

"No fucking unless were in our rooms with the door locked."

"Don't bother leader-sama EVER! Because then your being a bad boy!"

"Is that it?" Pain asked eyeing them all."

umm ya, un."

"WRONG! You forgot the most important rule after no bothering me… Well what is it?"  
"Just fucking tell us heathen!"

"No drinking! When you "people" drink you destroy my hole base!"

"We weren't drinking ,un!"

"Yes you did! You all did last night while I was away on business!"

"If we had had been drinking last night the house would be a mess and it's cleaner then its been in weeks." Itachi said plainly with the others nodding in agreement."And there would be beer cans everywhere!" Kisame added. Again everyone nodded.

They all felt proud of themselves. Not only did they manage to clean the hole house while they were to drunk to stand but they had also had gotten rid of all the beer cans to. Leaving no evidence of there party from the night before.

"I admit you did a good job of getting rid of the evidence BUT I still have the best evidence of all! I have the whole thing on video!" Pain declared in triumph. The room got quiet for a few seconds

"your bluffing, un!"

"oh really then how do you explain this" Pain pulled out a remote pointing it at the TV pressing the "on" button, but nothing happened. Pain grabbed the other remote. The TV came on with Dora the Explorer on the screen making the hole room grown. Pain huffed in frustration pressing several button on both remotes hoping to get the VCR (yes he still has one) to come on. Finally the VCR came on, and Konan was on the screen.

"All right "leader" told me that if any of the house rules were broken while he was out that I was to video tape them ,cause he's a douche bag. Any way for the past few hours everyone has been having a benge drinking party, and there still going" She paned across the room filled with the drunken Akatsuki members and empty beer cans. Deidara was streaking, Kisame was repeatedly running into the sliding glass door thinking it wasn't there, Itachi was trying to stand up without any luck, and Zetsu was crying in the corner. "and you haven't even seen the funniest part!"

"Hu? I don't remember this part of the video Konan." Pain said confused.

"SHHHH just watch its SOOO funny!" konan said trying hard not to on the TV konan had moved across the room so you could see the couch where Kakuzu and Hidan were. Kakuzu was on top of Hidan and the two of them were in a lust filled kiss.


	3. Chapter 2

The hole Akatsuki watched the TV in disbelief. Hidan and Kakuzu were making out? It couldn't be! They absolutely hated each other! But there it was right in front of them on the TV screen. Hidan's jaw had droped open as far as it would go. Kakuzu had turned so red that you could practaly see it threw his mask. Pain turned off the TV, and looked at Kakuzu and Hidan with complete disbelief. Kakuzu got even reder when he noticed the whole Akatsuki staring at him and Hidan. He secretly prayed to what ever god that cared that none of them would ask what had happened. He didn't even known that they had kissed until they had seen the video just like the rest of them.

The room was as silent as the grave until suddenly Deidara said "So that's why they were in bed together this morning, un!"

"GASP!"

"WHY IS IT THAT ALL MY S-RANKED CRIMINALS ARE GAY!" Pain scream.

"Zetsu-san what's gay mean?""I'll tell you when your older Tobi."

"but-"

"I said when your older!"

"Hn."

"I know Itachi. I can't belive it either."

"Well….are you guys goin' out or what, un?"

Hidan and Kakuzu sat there perfectly still looking like deer caught in the headlights. Suddenly Hidan jumped up and rocketed out of the room leaving Kakuzu there by himself to explain what had happened. Even though he had no clue about what they had did the night before.

"WELL!" Pain demanded."

…..well what?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT! ARE YOU AND HIDAN GOING OUT?"

"HELL NO!"

"ARE YOU FUCK BUDDIES THEN?"

"HELL NO!"

"What did you two do last night!"

Kisame coughed what sounded like "each other!"

"I don't know. I don't remember anything that happened last night."

"What do you mean you don't remember!"

"I DON'T REMEMBER!" Kakuzu snarled as he got up and stormed out of the room."…WHY MUST ARE ALL MY EVIL MINIONS BE GAY!"

Meanwhile in Hidan and Kakuzu's sat on his bed with his face berried in his hands. "Fuck! This isn't happening! This isn't fucking happening!" The second he had saw the video the memories of the pervious night had come back to him

FLASH BACK: Kisame had been the one to suggest the party and it wasn't long before the others had agreed. As long as they didn't completely destroy the house and got rid of all the beer cans "leader" would never find out. Two hours latter everyone was completely drunk. Hidan and Kakuzu had started fighting again. At first everyone had gathered around and chanted "fight, fight, fight!" but left when no punched were thrown just words.

"MONEY HORE!

""FAG!""

…..MONEY HORE!"

"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT ASS WIPE!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND A FUCKING MASK CAUSES' IM A FUCKING PUSSY LIKE YOU!"

"I DON'T NEED THIS MASK!" kakuzu ripped the mask from his a long time Hidan just stared at Kakuzu.

"Your hot!" with that Hidan pounced on Kakuzu kissing him forcefully. Hidan didn't know how long they had been making out before Kisame made go to their bedroom. They kept kissing witch eventually lead to rough sex.

end Flashback:Hidan growned and pulled himself off the bed thinking that maybe a hot shower would make him feel better

mean while with Kakuzu:

"How dare that fag leave me there by myself to explain "that"! When I find his worthless ass I'm going to sacrifice HIM to Jashin!" Kakuzu bust into their room. "HIDAN!"

"Of fuck! I forgot about fuckface he's going to murder my ass!" Hidan thought in terror. He shut the water off and backed up against the back of the shower hoping that Kakuzu didn't know that he was there. His hopes were crushed when Kakuzu ripped the shower curtain down and grabbed the wet naked Hidan by the thought slamming him into the shower wall causing Hidan to yelped in fear and pain.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE ME THERE ALONE YOU FAG!" Kakuzu screamed.

"I-i don't know… I-i just got scared and ran away!" Hidan whimpered.

"IM GOING TO KILL FUCKING YOU!" Kakuzu snarled tightening his grip.

"Lovers quarrel, un!"

Kakuzu turned to see Deidara standing in the bathroom doorway sneering evilly at them.

"Were. NOT. Lovers!" Kakuzu snarled threw his teeth at Deidara.

"Says the guy who's holding his naked partner, un"Kakuzu had been so infuriated at Hidan he hadn't relised that Hidan was naked, even though he was in the shower. Kakuzu made a discussed sound and immediately released Hidan. Hidan fell to the ground gasping for breath. He tried to run away but Kakuzu grabbed him by the throat.

"No you don't! I'm not threw with you" Kakuzu snarled. Immediately Deidara started laughing. Kakuzu realized what it sounded like he meant and released Hidan.

"NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Sure, un" Deidara said sarcastically.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

While Kakuzu was occupied with Deidara, Hidan ran away to hide.


	4. Chapter 3

Hidan had spent the week trying to hide from Kakuzu. Ya it was stupid but it's Hidan we're talking about. Any time Kakuzu came into a room that Hidan was already in, Hidan would run out, usually running over someone. He had to sleep on the couch and had to sneak into their bedroom to get fresh cloths and his Jashin pendent. He was just starting to think that he could avoid Kakuzu forever when "Leader" gave the two of them a mission. Damn! He had forgotten that they were patterns therefore they would have to go on missions together, just the two of them. In fact he didn't remember until he had walked into Pain's office to find Kakuzu already there.

"Eek!" Hidan jumped at the sight of his partner.

"What the hell was that for dumbass?" kakuzu snarled.

"N-nothing" Hidan said sitting down in the chair beside Kakuzu causously.

"I don't know what's wrong with you two and if Deidara's right and you two are having a "lovers quarrel" I don't want to know about it. You two need to forget about what ever it is and focus on this mission understand?"

"But we're not a cou-"

"Understood" Kakuzu said cutting Hidan off. Pain handed Kakuzu a manila folder holding the missions instructions. Kakuzu and Hidan went to their room to get ready for the mission. Kakuzu kept his back to Hidan while he packed completely ignoring the others existence. When Kakuzu had finished packing he left the room leaving the other alone.

"_what's his problem? So what the whole Akatsuki saw us making out and now they think we're "together" and so what we fucked it's not that big of a fucking deal! In fact Kakuzu should be grateful that someone finally fucked his old ugly ass…..well…he's not ugly…he's old but he's not ugly, he's handsome…and even kind of hot….accaly he's REALLY fucking hot and se-" _Hidan shook his head violently. _"What the fuck am I thinking!" _Hidan grabbed his scythe and ran outside hoping fresh air would help clear his head. Unfortunately a pissed Kakuzu was waiting for him.

"What took you so long!" Kakuzu growled.

Hidan huffed "none of your business fuckface!" Hidan stormed ahead of the banker until he came to a fork in the road and relised he had no idea where they were going.

Hidan and Kakuzu had been walking for several hours. Kakuzu walked a good distance ahead reading over the mission papers completely ignoring Hidan. Hidan was use to being ignored and even though it drove him crazy he told himself that he was going to ignore Kakuzu and not speak to him during the whole mission. But after six hours of walking Hidan couldn't stay silent any more.

"Can we stop my feet hurt, I'm hungry, and I'm tired!" Hidan whined.

"We'll stop at the next village for the night." Kakuzu said without even looking back at Hidan or criticizing him for acting like a two year old, witch Kakuzu always did.

"Dickwad" Hidan muttered.

When Hidan and Kakuzu made it to the village Kakuzu found the cheapest motel to stay in like he always did, but this time he got one with two beds instead of one even though it coast more.

"_Wow he hates me so much now that he's willing to spend MONEY to keep me away from him." _Hidan thought and for some strange reason he felt sad about this. _"I wish Kakuzu didn't hate me…wait why do I care whether fuckface like me or not?" _

"_Because you love him."_ a voice in the back of his head said.

"NO I DON'T!" Hidan yelled at his inner voice.

"_Why are you arguing with yourself you freak!" _His voice asked.

"I'M NOT A FREAK!"

"_The fact that your still arguing with yourself proves that you are. What's wrong with you are you turning into Zetsu?"_

"NO!"

"Hidan why the hell are you making those faces!" kakuzu asked staring at Hidan like he was crazy.

"I'm not making fucking faces fuckface!" Hidan hissed snatching the room key from Kakuzu and storming off to their room. Immediately Hidan got in the shower.

"Don't use all the hot water dumbass!" Kakuzu called.

"Fuck you!" Hidan yelled back. Not only did he use all the hot water he also made sure that the only water left was the coldest water there was.

"There you go fucker." Hidan huffed when he came out of the bathroom shivering. _"damn that water was fucking cold! But it'll be worth it to see kuzu-kun pissed!" _Hidan snickered. "_Wait! Kuzu-kun! Why the hell did he call him that?" _Hidan's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Kakuzu.

"HIDAN!"

"What?"~ Hidan called happily.

Kakuzu stormed out of the bathroom dripping wet and shivering in nothing but a towel. "You. Used . ALL. The. Hot. Water!"

"oh did I? I didn't relies that?" Hidan said as sweetly and sarcastically as he could.

Kakuzu slapped the back of Hidan's head and stormed back into the bathroom to take the quickest shower in history.

Hidan plopped down on his bed. "Jashin Kuzu's so hot when he's pissed. Wait what! Why do I keep having these fucked up thoughts!"

"_cause you love Kuzu"~_

"Shut the fuck up inner voice!"

"_Not until you admit that you love Kuzu."~_

"I DON'T LOVE HIM!"

"_It sounds like your trying to convince your self more then me."_

"You are me!"…"Voice? Where the hell did you go?"

"HIDAN!"

Kakuzu's voice made Hidan jump. "WHAT?"

"I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes!"

"I was thinking!"

"You can think?"

"Haha real funny fuckface! What do you want?"

"For get it." Kakuzu turned around and got in other bed with his back to Hidan.

"NO tell me what the fuck you wanted!"….Kakuzu didn't responded.

"I know your awake fuckface!" no response "Fine! Be that way dickwad!" Hidan rolled over and went to sleep.

**Oh no Hidan's turning into Zetsu! lolz I'm having a little trouble truing to make the ending. It would help A LOT if you would go to my profile and vote on my poll. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 4

"_Hidan's so quiet today it's scary." _Kakuzu looked back at his partner. They'd been walking since day brake and Hidan hadn't spoken to him once. Kakuzu guessed it was his way of "punishing" him for not telling him what he had wanted to tell him the pervious night. Kuzu let out a heavy sigh. He still couldn't believe that he almost told Hidan "_that"!_

"Hidan we're almost to the bounty's fortress. We have to be alert and **silent **from here on."

"What ever." Kakuzu ignored Hidan's rude answer and continued on.

It was poring rain when they arrived at the bounty's castle like fortress. Kakuzu and Hidan had a hard time climbing over the front wall but once inside they found it easy to avoid the guards. They made it the tower where the bounty lived with ease this made Kakuzu worry. _"It shouldn't be this easy."_

Kakuzu managed to kill the men guarding the door with out them making any sound. "The bounty should be in here are you ready Hidan?" "Ya lets just get this over with."

Once Kakuzu knocked down the door he heard someone yell "Fire!" At the last possible second, Kakuzu yanked Hidan in front of him and used him as a human shield.

"Fuck! Why the fuck did you do that fuckface!" Hidan yelled yanking a arrow out of his stomach.

"Shut up and grab the bounty idiot!" The bounty was standing behind a row of guards. Kakuzu could tell be his horrified expression that he hadn't expected his plan to fail.

"Don't just stand there! Kill them!" he scream as he ran out the back door.

"Fuck! Hidan catch the bounty we can't let him get away!" Kakuzu yelled as he attacked the closest guard.

Hidan chased the bounty out into the poring rain. The section of the castle they were on was the highest and was over a cliff that seemed bottom less. "Come here fucker!" Hidan yelled as he leapt forward like a mountain lion, grabbing the bounty around the waist. The bounty slipped and fell. Hidan was slung off and landed on his right arm braking it and slid over the edge of the wall, but he managed to grab the ledge at the last second. The bounty (who still doesn't have a name) wasn't so lucky. He didn't manage to grab the ledge when he fell over. He was shur that he was going to fall to his death, but Kakuzu (who had killed all the guards by now) grabbed his arm, saving him.

Hidan couldn't pull himself up with only one arm and his hand started slipping.

"Kakuzu help me! I'm slipping!" Hidan screamed.

"One second I've gotta pull the bounty up first!"

"I can't wait!"

"One second!"

"KAKUZU!" Hidan lost his grip and stared to fall. "_I should have known that he'd never pick me over his precious money" _He squeezed his eyes shut getting ready of the impact that not even he could live threw. Hidan was slammed into something but instead of it being the hard wet ground, it soft and warm. Hidan slowly opened his eyes. He was back on the top of the wall being hugged tight by Kakuzu.

"..K-Kakuzu?"

"Hidan are you ok?" Kakuzu stared down at Hidan with terrified eyes.

Hidan's mind was swimming he looked around confused "Where's the bounty?"

"I let him go, I couldn't pull you both up in time." Kakuzu said holding Hidan's close.(the sounds of the bounty screaming as he to his death can be heard in the background XD)

Hidan stared at Kakuzu blankly. _"He let the bounty go to s-save me?"_

"WTF do you mean? You'd never do that!"

"Well I did."

"Why? You'd never let you're self lose that much money!"

"Hidan you idiot, you're worth more then all the money in the world to me."

Hidan stared up at Kakuzu, unable to breath. _"Is he really saying what I think he's saying?"_ Kakuzu leaned down and kissed Hidan softly interrupting hid thoughts. When they finally broke away Kakuzu whispered

"I love you Hidan."

Yay I finally finished it! Sorry it took so long and how short this chapter is…and how REALLY bad it is. I've been super busy and I remembered this in the middle of the night, so I typed this at like 1 in the morning so it's crappier then normal, so sorry again. This may or may not be the end. I'm probably going to type a really short epilogue…actually every thing I type is really short. =_=" Any way please review and maybe some one can name the bounty, 'cause I'm to lazy to care.


	6. Chapter 5

Kakuzu sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He looked over at the sleeping Hidan beside him and smiled. He was so cute when he was asleep and silent. Kakuzu loved the silence but at the same time he wanted to hear the sound of Hidan's voice.

It had been a week since he had told Hidan that he loved him, and it had taken them that whole week to get back to the base. Normally it only took them a few days to get back, but they had taken their time and they had "gotten sidetracked" several times as well. Plus Kakuzu hadn't looked forward to Pain screaming at them for losing the bounty. In fact when they had gotten back Kakuzu and Hidan had gone strait to their room without reporting to Pain.

Kakuzu sighed, he'd have to tell him today. He leaned down to Hidan's ear. "Hidan wake up." Hidan picked his arm up weakly trying to push Kakuzu's face away, but failing "No."

"Yes Hidan we have to go report to Pain." Kakuzu said more firmly pulling Hidan's hand away from his face.

"Go by yourself. Even if I went with you, you'd do all the talking I'd just sit there." Hidan wined pulling his pillow over his face.

"No, your not getting out of this Hidan. Don't forget you're the reason that we lost the bounty."

"You're the one that dropped the bounty off the cliff." Hidan snapped back.

"I dropped him so I could pull you up." Kakuzu said poking Hidan's sensitive side, making him flinch.

"Stop that! You know that I hate that!" Hidan wined as he tried to protect his side.

"Stop what?" Kakuzu asked smirking evilly as he jabbed Hidan's side again.

"You know what!" Hidan spat as he slapped Kakuzu's hand away.

Kakuzu chuckled evilly as he attacked Hidan's sides making Hidan laugh uncontrollably.

"k-kaku….f-fucker…..s-s-stop!" Hidan tried to stop Kakuzu, but had no success. Kakuzu loved it when Hidan was helpless like this. Kakuzu finally stopped when Hidan's face started to change color. Hidan layed on his back gasping for breath.

"Having trouble Hidan?"

"s-shut the f-fuck up!"

"Well now that your awake get up and get dressed."

"No! I'm fucking tired!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "I don't care, get up!"

"If you knew that we'd have to get up so fucking early you shouldn't have kept me up all fucking night!"

Kakuzu leaned down to Hidan's ear "Don't act like you didn't love it." he whispered in Hidan's ear making him shiver. Kakuzu started to kiss down Hidan's neck to his collar bone as he ran his fingers lightly up and down Hidan's spine. Hidan moaned as Kakuzu bit down on collar bone leaving a mark.

Suddenly the door was thrown open interrupting the two lovers and reviling a certain blonde. "Leader wants to see you two now." Deidara said and started to close the door. Right when the door was almost about to click shut Deidara threw it open again. "WAIT!" he stared at the two of them. "You guys totally fucked each other!" Deidara exclaimed pointing at them dramatically.

"Ya so?"

"Don't even try to deny it 'cause I-….wait what did you say?'

"We…fucked." Hidan said slowly like when someone trys to talk to someone that speaks another language. (I think it's so weird when people do that like they think it's going to help)

Deidara stared at them blankly for a while. "oh.. well…I'm still going to tell everyone!"

"So why should we care if everyone knows?" Hidan asked staring at Deidara confusedly.

"I think he was going to use it as blackmail." Kakuzu said.

"Why?"

"Because… well…. I… Fuck you!" Deidara yelled slamming the door.

Kakuzu let out a heavy sigh. "Come on Hidan. We have to go talk to Pain, and then you can go back to sleep."

"Promise?" Hidan asked his eyes lighting up with hope.

"Promise."

A few minutes later in Pain's office.

"YOU WHAT?"

"We lost the bounty." Kakuzu said again calmly.

"HOW DID YOU TWO IDIOTS LOSE A WHOLE PERSON?"

"We dropped him over a cliff, and then his corpse was carried away by the river that he fell in." Kakuzu stated like was a normal thing to happen.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!"

"To save Hidan." Kakuzu said like it was completely obvious.

"…what?"

Kakuzu sighed. "The bounty and Hidan fell over the edge of the cliff, and I could only save one so I chose Hidan."

"I don't see what the big fuckin deal is. We can go get another guy." Hidan said as he bordly played with a pen he got off Pain's desk.

"IT'S A VERY BIG FUCKING DEAL! WE NEED THAT MONEY FOR THE ELECTRIC BILL!" Pain yelled as he snatched the pen out of Hidan's hand. He flipped around to face Kakuzu. "WHY DID YOU SAVE THIS IDIOT! I MEAN YOU HATE HIDAN?"

"Yes Hidan's annoying and yes he pissed he off to no end."

"Hey I'm right here fuckface!"

"but." Kakuzu reached over and pulled Hidan into his lap hugging him tightly. "I love him." Kakuzu said staring strait at pain.

Pain stood there with him mouth hanging partway open. "..why…why… MUST ALL MY S RANKED VILLAINS BE GAY!" Pain screamed as he stormed out of his office leaving Hidan and Kakuzu in a lust filled kiss.

Yay it's finished! I can't believe that I actually finished it. Please review and tell me what you think! Sorry for bad spelling ,grammar, and how over all crappy it is.


End file.
